Finally, a book for guys that solves the riddles of pregnancy.
Do you think that newborn babies can eat Doritos? That they can't scream
very loudly since they just have tiny little baby lungs? That you will
still be able to golf on weekends after your baby is born?
If so, you need this book!
BREATHE takes guys misstep-by-misstep through the stages of pregnancy
and the early days of childhood. Considered by many to be the unofficial
pregnancy handbook of the NBA, Breathe is filled with useful tips such
Brown's First Law of Conception: The odds of conception are
inversely proportional to its desirability. High school virgins experimenting
behind bleachers are guaranteed to get pregnant
sperm volume is strong enought; financially secure
married men hoping for children are doomed to spend their weekends in
fertility clinics masturbating into cups.
Picking a doctor: Never use a gynecologist whose Medical School
Diploma has palm trees on the side.
Pre-Natal Music: Mozart, yes. Wagner, No!
Common Concerns: If your baby is born with dark hair that covers
its head, back, neck, temples and forehead, don't panic. This is perfectly
normal. It just means your baby was born Italian.
Child experts from all over the world agree -- if you're a first time
father, drop your baby and pick up this book!